Star Wars: The Clone Wars,Episode1: The Sith Surprise Party
by Bossness
Summary: Includes a preface of the Star Wars Universe, and the Sith Surprise Story
1. Episode 1: The Sith Surprise

Star Wars:

The Clone Wars

Episode 1: The Sith Surprise Party.

Credit given where credit

Is due. Including, but not limited to

Lucasfilm industries, creators of **ted**

Preface

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far away, there waged galactic war. There were the Sith, also known as the Separatists, a group of rich warlords who wanted control of the galaxy by using their virtually limitless army of robots known as battle droids, and there was the Jedi, aka the Republic, a group of people who wanted galactic peace. Now, some people in this galaxy could manipulate things by using the Force, which moves through all things, living or dead. The Force is much like a sword. It can be used to attack and defend, and has no prejudice against anyone.

Now, both the Sith and the Jedi have the ability to manipulate the Force, but the Jedi are limited by their own system of rules and laws. They cannot choke using the Force, shoot lightning out of their hands, or kill without just cause. However, the Sith can do whatever they want. This causes corruptness, tyranny, and dishonor among them, but they're rich. Who cares about that stuff?

The weapon of choice for Jedi and Sith alike is the Light Saber. This is basically a sword that is extremely light, and extends out of a foot-long handle, or hilt. One more thing about the Light Saber: It is a sword made OUT OF LIGHT! IT WILL CUT YOUR ARM OFF AND CAUTERIZE THE WOUND INSTANTLY! This is why it is the weapon of choice for the Jedi and the Sith.

Although the Sith have a limitless supply of droids, nothing is more powerful than a Jedi. Except maybe an Apache Helicopter. Those things have machine guns AND rockets. They are truly magnificent machines of death and destruction. The Jedi also have an army. Clones. Millions of clones. They are faster than droids, faster thinkers, and much more resourceful. Droids, on the other hand, are slow, stupid, and basically a limitless supply of Larry, Mo, and Curly.

Our Story starts with Jedi Anakin Skywalker, a strong Jedi Knight and his padawan learner Ahsoka Tano, aka Snips, a bald alien who has odd tentacles hanging from her orange-skinned head. For the Sith, there is Count Dooku, a grumpy but formidable old man, General Grievious, a cyborg that is more robot than man, and a bunch of battle droids.

Chapter One

Count Dooku walked into the room. The droids all saluted. Dooku walked straight to the table and picked up a ham sandwich. As he was eating, Grievious, aka Bill, ran in.

"Dooku" Said Bill, "I have great news. We have captured a Republic Cruiser… Wait, is that MY ham sandwich?"

"Perhaps. Was it lying on the table?" Said Dooku.

"Yes."

"Was it made of rare space ham?"

"Yess."

"Was it on soft, cushy, white bread?"

"YES! That is what my sandwich is made of"

"Nope, Haven't seen it." Said Dooku arrogantly and taking a bite.

Grievious said, "More news of the republic cruiser awaits us on the bridge. Let's go there now. "Fine." Uttered Dooku as he took another bite of Grievious's sandwich.

As the door to the ship's bridge opened up, Dooku was greeted with a loud noise. It sounded like the intruder bell. Dooku immediately went into attack mode. Anything that moved, he struck in half with his Light Saber. After about thirty seconds, he stopped. He admired his work. There were pieces of battle droids everywhere, and they all had party hats on their heads. There was a rocket ship cake, but at that moment, the top half slid off the bottom half. Dooku suddenly remembered. It was his birthday, and he had destroyed his cake. He stared with his usual blank, grumpy face, then went to his room and bawled his eyes out.


	2. Episode 2: The Jedi Attack

Episode 2: The Jedi attack

Credit is given where credit is due

Carefully, Anakin Skywalker walked out of his quarters. Slinking past Ahsoka's room, he stealthily ran down a long hallway. He went to the briefing room. Admiral Cupcake, a highly decorated General in the Republic, was waiting. Anakin opened the door to the briefing room. There stood Ahsoka, the ugly, bald, tentacle donning alien that was his padawan. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and sarcastically yet threateningly said, "Going somewhere, Anakin?"

"Uh, no?" Anakin ungracefully replied.

"Mmm Hmm. Likely story, as we both received the email that there was to be a briefing in the briefing room. Maybe you were…trying to avoid me?"

"Uh, no, Snips. I…Uh, didn't want to wake you up." Replied Anakin.

"Ahem." Said Admiral Cupcake. "Let us get down to business. As you all know, it is Count Dooku's birthday. Why don't you pay his ship a visit."

With his last sentence, Admiral Cupcake pointed to a hologram of a missle.

"And don't forget to bring him a birthday gift." Added Admiral Cupcake.

"Of course" Replied Anakin.

"OOOH OOOH OOOH! Can I go as well?!" Begged Ahsoka.

"Fine." Said Anakin reluctantly.

"I wanna be gunner! I wanna be gunner!" Yelled Ahsoka.

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Go warm up the ship" He said.

"YAAAAAYYY!" Yelled Ahsoka.

In the hangar, Anakin saw Rex painting a birthday cake on a large, deadly looking missile capable of destroying a Droid Command Ship.

"What is a party without a cake?" Remarked Rex.

"I like it." Said Anakin.

Within thirty minutes, the gunship took off. As they were getting into missile range, Anakin gave the order. The missile flew straight at the ship. "Big toy for the big boy." Remarked Rex.

The missile exploded. Little did they know that Dooku was not on the ship. He had not been on it for some time, because after his fiasco, he had to use the can. He used the one in an escape pod because they were the cleanest. He fell asleep and accidently hit the launch button. He was hurtling through space, and woke up just in time to see his ship destroyed by the Republic.

In the gunship, Anakin saw something coming their way. Could it be? It was. General Bill Grievious's head bonked on the gunship's glass.

"Well, at least we got a goody bag." Remarked Anakin as they shot off into hyperspace back to their ship.


End file.
